Spring Equinox Maddness

Spring equinox drives me to be crazy, scattered, fearful ad doubtful.  Full of fear vs. faith.  There seem to be a disconnect in the universe between people, commitments and communication.  My creative artist side is on fire a blaze and out of control. idea’s coming at me like burst of flames.  I try to hose them down and at least capture one to put out on paper or into motion but all the other flames are just too big to focus on one. I panic, get aggitated and annoyed with myself and the world.  I judge myself against others who appear have it all figure out.

So I go back to my resources of books, meditations and mantra’s to find faith and peace.

Life is life.  You gotta meet “life on life’s terms.” AA slogan

“Seek refuge in inner calm, free your thought from the external world and you will feel the rays of Gods goodness and love during over you and the universe.”    Iranshahr

Mantra “I give myself the power and strength in my body to overcome my mind when I feel weak, depressed, or moody.  Together, my mind and body are a perfect team to provide me strength to conquer the day and my life.”

Meditation:

Take 5 long deep breaths seated or lying down.

Visualize the color of purple at the 3rd eye between the brows.

All your attention and energy goes towards it like an absorption or devouring.

The 3rd eye becomes a sea aninimae undulating energy. Absorbing your thoughts and fears. 

Visualize and feel the energy of absorption flow down to your heart center.

Your heart space feels full and expansive as the breath travels and fills your low belly, across the lungs widening your center.

Place your hands here.

Now you feel ease and can see through the crazy.

You see purpose and passion for your gifts from God. Faith.

The energy travels lower and pervades your hips where the 2nd chakra of create lives and suddenly you feel well being and wholeness.

Stay here for minutes and visualize what that is what it looks like, feels and live as if it is so right now.

Experience your desires as if it is happening right now.

It is happening right now. 

The ego and self will and esteem have stopped scattering like wild flames.

Now I am with my highest self, centered and one with God. 

I breathe in and say it is so.

Open you eyes and begin again your day.

Did you know stress and anxiety can shrink your brain and deteriorate your body?

I have chosen this year to break open my core wounds that have been with me since my childhood.  Not fucking comfortable stuff that is causing me to feel them all over again- creating fear, anxiety, depression and stress on my mind/body and spirit.  This is the “work” many will call it when you decide enough is enough and the old patterns and habits that have “worked” are not working any more.  This is yoga living off the mat.  This is AA’s 12 step process towards healing.  This is in many religions when you take on fully trusting in your higher power and surrendering.  It takes certain characteristics like humility, courage and the will to suffer in order to get better.

Now I am not saying to put yourself through this without guidance, therapy, etc. What I am saying is stress is a very real thing and choosing how to deal with it and how long it will affect you have some serious side effects.

So here is what is going on in your body and mind when you go through something like this.  There is a feedback loop in the brain, the anxiety tells it to replay the memory and in doing so takes over much of the thoughts going on in your mind. The new information coming in doesn't have a lot of space to settle in; therefore, you may even experience not remembering new memories, suffer learning new things, and other functions. That sucks! The fear based memories are so powerful they actually shrink your brain, especially the hippocampus. In turn you suffer from more anxiety, possibly depression, and can lead to Alzheimers in the end.  This is why you and I must not let the anxiety, depression and fear dictate our life and our destiny.

Your body knows when your mind is stressed, happy, angry and all the other emotions you feel.  In fact your body reacts with your emotions releasing hormones to go along with what your mind is feeling. For example, when you feel love oxytocin is released giving you a sensation of feeling good all over like the “chills or warm fuzzies”.  Your body, when feeling love and safety, can even emote with open arms wanting to express with a hug to share how good you feel.  When you are stressed you get the opposite hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline, causing your heart rate to increase, your blood pressure to rise, your breath to become shallow and the body literally takes on a defense looking posture.

You must MOVE!  Exercise is proven to relieve muscle tension, increase serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine; all of your feel good hormones.  Aerobic exercise lights up all the areas of the brain especially in the frontal cortex and hippocampus, helping you change the memories or feed back loop.  In fact the number one way to get all in one dose is the practice of yoga, a moving meditation with absorption of self at the end.  You see it all comes back to you and being centered.  And it’s a daily practice.

Protection is part of being a peaceful and mindful warrior

Gazing out at the birds this morning while meditating with nature on my back porch listening to the sweet calls of a bird I hear a squirrel do his angry sound.  He ruined the birds call, the song and rhythm of his morning prayers.  He ruined the peace by claiming his space.  Then there was silence.  One of the two got what they wanted.  It was probably the squirrel and his space in the tree.

Nature protects for very primal reasons.  We protect for primal reasons but also out of emotion, usually past emotions from a similar event that causes a trigger.  The trigger creates fear.  Fear is primal and causes specific chemicals to release in our body to have a response, to protect with flight, flight or freeze.  Fear can be caustic especially if felt over long periods of time.  Like many cultures and countries right now living in constant fear for their lives for the most simple things of getting water.

Protection

I have been protecting and defending my heart and place in this world since I was a little girl.  I remember the first few events that caused this armor.  both were related to men taking advantage of me physically, mentally and emotionally.  Not an uncommon story and all too common in this modern world.  But I am not here to tell you about me.  Here are some “nuggets” of real life things to do to protect yourself and still have compassion for others.  Basically not being a bitch, passive aggressive, or get taken advantage of.  Protection can mean boundaries.  Learn healthy ways to have relationships with those closest to you and beyond.

1.    Know your limits of time, money and self worth

2.    Do for yourself first then care for others needs

3.    Learn when to say no without feeling guilty

4.    Ask others for help or support

5.    Change your mood by moving your body, working out, etc.

6.    Make sure you have enough rest and food

7.    Breathe before you create conflict