When balance doesn't exist...

My crazy side when I let loose, dance and be free!

Today I am grateful, it’s the weekend! What a week or two I have had. Keeping my head above water, trying to get out of my head, and staying vertical has been a challenge. Too many roles and obligations I try to fill all the time. It is my own choice, as I act like the man in my relationship with myself. Well the "man" is tired and the "woman" needs to be seen and heard and most of all loved. All my life I have had to be more masculine in order to defend myself, stay in control when things were not due to family and financial distress.  Today my life is good, to most it probably seen awesome.  But inside deep down in the old wounds and mental patterns I still behave like it’s a struggle.  The struggle is real for most and me.  It is time for softness, the return of the feminine goddess we all have, even men, to show herself. 

BALANCE ladies, take a step back and be soft.  Allow others to help you just as much as you do. 

My week of self-love and BALANCE has been a journey. This is not a "pity party" story but a reminder to give back to yourself just as much as you give. Otherwise you just fucking break down. Monday I locked myself in to my house away from pollen and into movies. I never do that! Tuesday massage with Justin Rockett and had my whole arm taped due to tendonitis that just won't stop because I won't stop.... Wednesday went to an epic session with Elena Zaphara Bensonoff who guided me back to my feminine spirit (she is amazing if you have not been with her before!!!) Then held a group discussion at house with amazing women regarding balance with Charna Kety, Lindsey Kelly Finer, Kelly Breeding, Tristan Reiber, Bridgett O'Meara Yoga, and few others. Thursday had another massage with James Truitt and movement with Moses Bernard for one last playtime together. Friday taught yoga with my ladies Bella Prana Yoga and Meditation and off to Kodawari Studios for an epic deprivation float tank experience to mediate for an hour. Off to sleep I went. Thank you to all who support me on my journey. And much love to all of those who need LOVE.

You Are Truth

You know what is true.

You have people who love you.

You have talents for survival and success.

You can sacrifice to persevere.

Through the struggles are the triumphs

Because,

You deserve happiness, freedom and love.

You are not an object, a subject, or controlled by anyone.

Your life is yours!

Spring brings change. Allow yourself to transition by releasing 

old patterns and behaviors that do not serve you.  

Love and honor yourself always.

Go to the ocean and renew.

My sense of self got lost on Instagram

Have you ever found yourself getting sucked in to social media, especially Instagram only to find yourself depressed, possibly horny, and feel violated because its like soft porn?  Social media is a great platform to promote and create but the images over time may be more harmful than good. 

As a trainer, coach, and yoga instructor, the body is my platform and image is everything.  Body distortion or body dismorphic disorder is everywhere.  The best of the models, fitness elites and coaches have a predisposition to their own body distortion.  There is only one way to go when you are a model of fitness and beauty…be perfect.  Well here is what perfect looks like inside:

• ·      Perfectionism isn’t about striving for excellence, it is a defense move so we don’t have to express feelings
• ·      Feel like you have to earn approval and self worth
• ·      Correlated to depression, anxiety, addiction and not doing things in life because you have fear you won’t be perfect
• ·      May cause judgment, comparison, shame
• ·      Distorts reality of self and others
• ·      “All this virtual reality is virtually shit” Momma G

Each one of us is supposed to be a prototype of you, not Kim Kardashian or Paige Hathaway.  We are supposed to be a magnificent machine housing our soul that offers love, compassion and a powerful self.  Our bodies are designed to functionally move with stability, strength, and flexibility pushing self beyond small challenges that condition the beauty you already have.  Exercise increases self-esteem and positive self-awareness.  However, if you are trying to be someone else, there is no one that is going to be you. Love your body, love yourself and all else will fall into place.

The whole thing about fitness and looking a desired way is LIFESTYLE.  When you practice certain behaviors daily, weekly, yearly you will produce the desired outcome.  Here are some tips to guide you along the MOVE lifestyle path:

Journal your feelings keeping it real without judgment

Be part of a gym, yoga studio, or other fitness that engages in group fitness

Meditate

Surround yourself with people who share your same core values

Eat clean foods and avoid processed

Supplement meals with smoothies to beat the heat and fill you up

Drink lots of water (almost a gallon a day!)